Boundaries: taking back control of your life, with Jenilee Samuel


Everyone has experienced those relationships and situations where we feel unsafe and maybe powerless, but today I give you a principle that will empower you to be the most powerful person in your life, and put the control of those situations back in your hands… in a healthy way. Let’s talk BOUNDARIES!! In the intro and episode I mention a number emotions you might feel, that are indicators of a lack of boundaries; this is the link to read that article. It describes the “why you may feel this way” dynamic that can help you articulate, understand why you feel that way, empowering you to bring change. As always, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Facebook, and be sure you SUBSCRIBE to the podcast so you don’t miss an episode!  

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Good news! The Lord is “cleaning house”


I just love when the Lord takes a moment to let us in on his secrets… his plans.  It makes it so much easier to know how to posture ourselves to be cooperating with him, to see purpose in what is happening around us, to stay focused when we might otherwise feel quite lost.  That’s what happened a few weeks ago.  On a Sunday night at church the Lord showed me the next “phase” or “season” our church would be going through, that would affect people deeply.  And that word is what I want to share, but first, let me give you a tiny bit of context for it.

I know many of you are accustomed to me posting about food or fashion or parenting stuff, but what is at the core of my heart is a love for Jesus and all things that he is involved in.  My Husband and I are privileged to be on the pastoral staff at Cathedral Church under a powerful couple, Suzann and Randy Feldschau.  I have personally been in ministry leadership positions for 18 years now, and have served with a vast variety of Pastors and leaders, and I can recognize the uniqueness of how pure-hearted and sincere this couple is.  They have a gripping desire to see God show up in a way that doesn’t just rock us, but changes our region, and prayerfully, the nations.  We want to see God in a very real, very powerful, very personal way.  We don’t want “church”.  We want HIM.

So, given that backdrop, we have a culture at our church that is pursuing revival.  The kind of revival that changes the face of a region and nation.  The kind of revival that our nation desperately needs.  We have been praying, contending, pressing for more of Him.  We have had MULTIPLE visiting ministers who are completely unrelated and all sound ministers, ( Perry Stone, Chuck Pierce, Cindy Jacobs, and a few others I can’t recall at the moment) comment and prophecy similarly that there will be a great Revival that will hit our church, and others, and go out to impact our region, and regions beyond us.  Having so  many legitimate voices saying they are hearing and seeing the same thing in prayer, takes it from just a dream of ours as a church, to clearly a dream of God’s heart for our church.

A few weeks ago, Pastor Feldschau preached a message that I knew the night before, was going to begin something.  I was sweeping my dining room and heard the Holy Spirit say, “This message on Fathers he will be preaching on in the morning, this is IT.”  Later I had more insight into even what that meant, but in short, basically, as there are keys that open certain doors, the message and revelation of this message on “Digging the Wells of our Fathers” is a key to unlock the door of Revival in our area.  Feel free to follow the link and listen to it.  Its powerful.

That night we had a somewhat spontaneous service planned in response to how the Lord was moving so powerfully that morning.  At prayer before the evening service, the Lord told me about the next season our church, and perhaps others, but specifically our church, would be walking through in preparation for the coming revival.  It was pretty specific and yet unique, and almost immediately I have started seeing it play out.  In fact, in the following week I had a number of people who hadn’t even heard the word I shared, ask me to go for coffee to talk, and they were experiencing what I had felt the Lord shared with me.  After about two weeks of this, my heart grew a little heavy for the people because even though I was aware it was the Lord moving and touching things in people’s lives,  the people weren’t perceiving that it was Him divinely at work, and I sensed that they were feeling discouraged, disoriented, and weary.  So, I was able to share it again this past Sunday at our morning service, and I was so grateful for the full family to hear it, so people could be more mentally prepared for how to respond when things started shifting.  Let me share this word with you and it will make more sense.
“I heard the Lord say, “Over the next two to three months the church will be going through a house cleaning.  I have already been shifting things and people and setting order in many ways for many months, but this will be on a much deeper level.  My presence will be surfacing things buried deep in the hearts of my people.  Things they might not even realize reside within them.  Think of it like this: Just as you clean your home before having company come over, I need to clean my House before “company” (referring to the people who would be drawn into the family through Revival) comes over.  If a person has company but doesn’t clean house, they run the risk of two things: Offending the guest for the lack of honor shown, and possibly putting the guest at risk of injury or harm if there were say spills on the floor, slippery spaces, or things left out to trip over.  I will be bringing many into the House to join the Family, but I want to minimize casualties and get the house ready to host them.  Those coming in will need to be greeted by a family who is ready to care for them.  My church will be able to comfort others with the comfort they will have received from Me. Right now, there are some deep rooted issues in my children that could cause offense or injury to young new believers, and I need to deal with those things.  But realize this: It is my presence that will be touching those heart things and bringing them to the surface, and IT IS MY PRESENCE THAT WILL BE HEALING AND BRINGING DELIVERANCE.  It will be a quick work because it will be my Very Presence that is doing it.  When I clean house, I do a good job, and it is always done with my loving, caring, merciful hand.  Some of these areas I will be touching in hearts will be so deep that it will be a bit tumultuous for them to be surfaced.  Such things like attitudes or beliefs that came out of an abused childhood or experience.  Fears that came on in childhood.  Addictions and bondages.  Shame that people have been carrying that isn’t theirs to carry.  Legalism that was religiously bred into them.  Relationships that have always been broken but need to be healed.  There is no end to the types of things that will be brought up, and it will be deep, “heavy” stuff, and much of it will be beliefs or attitudes so engrained into their nature, they think it’s their personality, they don’t even realize it’s an area that is hurting them.  But my presence is kind.  And my presence is effective to do the work.  It is MY PRESENCE THAT WILL SURFACE THESE THINGS, AND IT IS MY PRESENCE THAT WILL HEAL AND DELIVER THESE THINGS.


Remind my people when they are experiencing these moments, that i am doing this work strategically, out of my love and care for them, and my love and care for those who will be joining the family.  Tell them not to carry shame or discouragement over what they see.  It has always been there, it is not a surprise to me even if it is a surprise to them.  I have always loved them and always will, despite what they will see surfacing in them.  Tell them, the best thing they can do is take this posture: “Lord, as you work ALL things for my good, how can I cooperate with what You are doing in me, so You can finish this work?”  I am not threatened by their filth, or their brokenness.  If they begin to feel they are a disaster, just remind them, they are a beautiful disaster, because they are MY beautiful disaster.  And my love is enough to heal every wound, free every prisoner, break every addiction, restore every loss, and mend every heart.  Remind them not to be discouraged.  It will not last long.  Tell them to take heart!!  For I will complete the Work I have begun in them.”


Since I shared that word both a couple weeks ago at the evening service, and then last Sunday at the morning service, I have had people come up to me in astonishment  sharing how the Lord began to surface old wounds, old hurts, old shame that they didn’t realize they hadn’t dealt with.  And then they share how quickly they were able to find reconciliation or healing.  God is so good!  And so attentive!!

So what I want to say to you is this: If you find yourself in this place of seeing a lot of “junk”, or old stuff getting stirred up in you, take heart, because it is not that you are wearing new “stuff”, its that the Lord is surfacing OLD stuff, with the plan to bring healing and freedom.  He is so kind.  His Presence is what we truly need.  So, if you’re not sure what to do when those buried fears surface, or the bitterness and unforgiveness is unveiled to you, just go to Him.  Go hide out in his Presence.  Turn on some worship music and get REAL.  Get honest ugly.  Leave all the religiousness at the door, and bare your heart.  and then give him time to show you His love.  Let his presence minister peace to you.  Lay those things down.  Repent, be cleansed by his forgiveness, and when you get up to leave the room, leave that stuff there with him.  Cast all your cares on Him, because he Cares for you.   Reject shame.  His love is way too great to make any room for shame.  Shame is not yours.  Don’t wear it.  Wear his love and be set free.  Who said house cleaning was a bad thing?  I don’t know about you, but I feel quite refreshed and rested when I look around at a spotless house.  Enjoy the refreshing.  Enjoy the freedom.  🙂

Blessings to you each!

“Love’s Most Perfect Dance”

This was a poem I wrote back in 2003 for my Core when I was a Core Advisor back at Teen Mania.  It was in honor of them, really, for Valentine’s Day.  Gosh, I remember spending forever on this, praying for something good I could write for them (since I was super duper short on cash and had no other gifts to give them.)  It resurfaced today when I was going through some old things on a book shelf and I thought it was good enough to share.  I think this was probably the last poem I wrote.  I hope you enjoy!!


Love’s most Perfect Dance


The gentle fog rolls across the sand, enveloping this woman and this man.

They stand hand in hand, eyes locked in a gaze, 

Peering into the deepest parts of their souls, astounded, astonished, and amazed.

The gentle splish and splash of the foamy waves engulf their feet

The seagulls speak softly, their overhead presence discreet.

The sun rests it’s brilliant head on the outstretched horizon,

Brilliant colors creep forth: orange, red, gold, all brazen.

Their silhouette is captivating; tender and unrelenting.

The passion in their eyes so contained, yet quietly exploding and penetrating.

He softly lifts his hand to her face; her knees seem to quake.

And as he parts his lips to speak, breathlessly, she waits.

He forms his words carefully, speaking with utmost convict

And in a moment she drops to her knees, healing tears down her cheek quietly slip.

He lovingly stoops to the ground and lifts her to her feet.

He places hers on his and whispers, “Dance with me.”

They slowly spin and sway, with perfectly angelic ease,

He leans in and whispers soft, entreating her with this plea:

“When all the world has stopped the music of this dance,

you step back onto my feet and let my love enhance…

Where you once were rejected, I long to embrace.

Where you once were unworthy, I lavish my grace.

Where you once were forgotten, you are always on my mind.

You’re my perfect and Pleasing One; you are my waited for Bride!”

She lifts her face to his, gaze steady and entranced, 

And whispers, “My Savior, my King.  Please, teach me to dance.”


-Jenilee Lott 2/14/03

inner stirrings, outer changes

by Jenilee Samuel on Monday, February 6, 2012 at 12:12am

I love when I can tell the Lord is setting me up for some deep, life changing revelation that takes weeks and months to unfold and transform the way I think.  Its that kind of “revelation” that is not just a quick fresh glimpse, but deep and paradigm-shifting that truly changes me at the core.  I have been feeling and seeing that pattern at work in my heart again in regard to walking in signs and wonders.  Have I seen miracles happen through me?  Sure.  Was it awesome? Definitely.  Is it a regular thing that I have a full understanding and grasp of?  Certainly not.  do I want it to be?  Absolutely.

Being my fourth pregnancy, and in effect what will be my fourth home-birth too, I always turn my attention to the Lord for  a Word from him, for insight from scripture, something to hold onto to carry me through the delivery process in faith and confidence, always wanting to possess yet more of the land that is mine in what has been referred to as “supernatural childbirth”.   With each birth I have come into some fresh revelation, and many times revelation upon revelation, through scripture and the Holy spirit teaching me his heart and what scripture says about various principles that can be applied not just to childbirth, but everything really.  And of course healing is wrapped up tightly in that as well.  We saw miracles that spared both my life and other complications in my first delivery… God was so faithful and has been in various ways with each birth.

Anyways, so being my fourth, honestly I feel like I’ve had less and less time to spend pondering the word and the Lord about delivery with each child I have, but the Lord is so faithful to bring things to my attention.  This time, he’s had me pondering the Garden of Eden and his original design for mankind.  The Garden was a place of peace, life, love, wholeness, and the manifestation of his full glory and goodness CONSTANTLY… and smack in the center of that was the command to “be  fruitful and multiply”.  Wow.  His original design for bearing life was in the context of perfect goodness and bliss… not torment and trauma like its perceived so commonly.  So this thought has had me really meditating on what that might have looked like since the only thing we see in the garden that describes childbirth is when the Father pronounces the curse on Adam and Eve after the fall, and curses eve with pain in childbearing.  And of course its no new concept that since I’ve taken up Christ as my Savior, I’ve been delivered from the effects of the curse, but many times, that’s more in theory in my life than in my reality.  Sadly.  But I want to see it my reality.  If its there for me, I want it.  So, the Lord has been keeping and carrying this thought in my heart about his original design and the perfection of it, and that He, as a Redeemer, intends to redeem what was stolen and broken by the fall.  Exciting.  Still don’t know what that looks like on a practical level necessarily, but exciting to meditate on.  Although, let that not take away from the fact that every single one of my births has been supernatural in various ways.  My doctor loves to hear the stories when we bring the new baby in for his first checkup.  🙂  But somehow in my heart, I know there’s still more to see and touch in God’s orginal plan.    Then I start reading this book by Bill Johnson “the supernatural power of a transformed Mind” which is built on the premise of establishing Heaven on earth: “your will be done on earth AS IT IS in heaven.”  Which requires we SEE heaven.  Understand how heaven operates.  When the Lord reminded me of a dream I had over a year ago, I felt even more “set up” for this revelation he is unfolding to me…

I had been struggling with three specific areas of health in my body at that time.  Don’t remember now what it was, but it was three.  I had been praying about them and asking the Lord how to deal with them; natural remedies, doctor visit, take authority over something spiritually, etc.  gotta know the root if you’re going to effectively deal with something.  Well, after prayin for a few days with little insight, the Lord finally gave me a dream.  In it, Pastor Monty was talking to me and said to me, “Jenilee, I see you dealing with some health issues in your body.  And I see you handling it like this: I see you lifting your head up, above the clouds, peering up into heaven.  You look around, you see what heaven looks like, and you come back down to earth and command things to line up  with what you saw.  That’s how you need to handle these things.”  When I awoke, I was like, “ok.”  So, I spent some time praying, saw my body whole and complete as it would be in heaven, prayed and the Lord handled everything.  Somehow, that dream makes more sense now, with the things the Lord is stirring in my heart, than it did even then.

The Lord is doing a deep, transforming revelation change in my heart, and I’m excited.  Then today, Worship Pastor Brent was teaching on much of what Bill Johnson covers in this book and what caught me was when he said that in a particular scripture he read, the word for “Salvation” was “Sozos” (sp??) in the Greek, which meant “the forgiveness of sins, the healing of disease, and deliverance from torment”.  Perfect health in spirit, soul and body.  Then I got to wondering, why do we so readily accept salvation, and even commonly accept the healing of the Lord to our emotional wounds, yet physical healing we are so confused about.  Probably, for starters, because physical healing can be so black and white.  If the pain/cripple is gone, you’ve been healed.  Inner salvation, and inner emotional healing are more vague and less tangible and for that reason, probably easier to believe for because they are not so “pass or fail” .  But then I got to thinking about believers and how many of us (including myself) grow discouraged to pray for healing because of all the times we haven’t seen it, and I thought, “Does everyone I share the gospel with get saved?  No.  Does everyone I pray emotional healing or emotional deliverance over see transformation immediately?  No.  Does everyone I lay hands on see a miraculous transformation.  No.  Does that mean I stop sharing the gospel?  No.  Does that mean I stop believing that God can heal and restore broken hearts?  Definitely not!  Then do I have an excuse to stop praying for healing when I know my God can heal?  No.”

Here is what I believe is the key.  Jesus set an example for us, and everyone he prayed for got healed, and that often is what discourages believers.  If Jesus could do it, shouldn’t I be able to?  Yes.  So somethin must be wrong with me if everyone I pray for isn’t getting healed.  No, here is the other half of the picture:  Jesus was ALWAYS SPIRIT LED!!  He even says in scripture that he did NOTHING on his own accord, but ONLY did what the father in heaven did or said.  Hmm… am I ALWAYS spirit led?  uh, no.  Well, there’s your missing piece!  Jesus had totally died to his own agenda in order to take up his father’s.  When we are listening to the leading of the Father, to pray how he says to pray, to pray for whom he says to pray for, to pray WHEN he says to pray, all of it is about his leading.  Ecclesiastes says in chapter 8 that to everythign there is a way and a timing.  Not just what to do, but when to do it.  Scripture also talks about how the earth is groaning, awaiting the sons of God to be revealed.  They want to see people who move in power!  Well, Romans 8 also says that those who are “sons of God are LED by the Spirit of God.”   Zechariah says that “this is the Word of the Lord …: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit.”   You see, the only way to walk in the power of God, in signs wonders and miracles is to be led by his Spirit.  God designed EVERYTHING in the christian faith to revolve around this principle because of one thing: it requires INTIMACY with him to be led by him in every facet of our lives.  Everything the Lord asks of us or lays before us to walk in the fullness of him will ALWAYS bring us back to the necessity of intimacy, because that is what we, as mankind were born out of! His desire for intimacy, loving relationships, with someone who would love him back.  Its THAT simple.  His longing for love and intimacy with us, fuels the very design for success as a believer.  There is no way to walk in signs and wonders on a simple, but regular basis without intimacy.  The goal isn’t signs and wonders.  the goal is an intimacy with him whichproduces the  manifestation of his love to his children THROUGH signs and wonders.  


So, given all these thoughts, I am still pondering this last birth of mine, looking ahead to it, carrying a promise in my heart that he gave me for this one as he gives me for each one, and continuing to meditate on these principles he is stirring in my heart. I’m remembering all the supernatural ways he has touched each birth and asking him what he has in store for this one.  I have an excited anticipation in my heart because as the Lord gives me a piece at a time of this revelation, it goes deeper and deeper, and I know will leave me different, and prayerfully, not just bearing more fruit in him, but knowing him more.  If there is more “promised land” to possess in my life, be it in regard to childbirth or anything else, I want to possess it.  So Holy spirit, continue to be my teacher, leading me into all truth as you have promised.  🙂  Thank you for your faithfulness to your Word… and your insatiable hunger to know us more deeply than we know you now.